Preparing for Postpartum
“The postpartum time is a rhythm shift, so understanding the need to rest and learning how to rest are crucial.”
Kimberly Ann Johnson, The Fourth Trimester
For many of my clients, postpartum rest is deeply uncomfortable and very challenging. Our culture doesn’t make room for postpartum rest nor does it value rest. Most people I know place their intrinsic value in their archetypal masculine traits such as punctuality, progress, multitasking, ability to make money, their social status, and other indicators of money and power.
You might think to yourself “That’s not me! I don’t value money and power over everything else.” But I am willing to bet you do more often than you realize because our culture values money and power over wellbeing, kindness, compassion, love, care-giving, rest, pleasure, and idleness. (I’m continuously unlearning this too! We all are!).
This value we place on productivity, power, and money is inherently oppositional and detrimental to the postpartum period.
I can’t tell you how many women I’ve worked with that say within 2 weeks postpartum “I felt ready to go for a run so I did! And now I feel like my pelvic floor is heavy and it’s painful.” Or “I felt ready to go to brunch with my friends at 5 days postpartum and now my bleeding is heavier.” And most commonly “I’m trying to rest but I’m getting so much anxiety just sitting at home, I don’t know what to do but I can’t rest any more.”
These are all due to the fact that we are not taught to rest or told about the importance of rest (we may be told by providers or friends but culturally this is not the imagery we’re shared). And we value productivity so much that we actually don’t know how to rest. Our nervous systems are not accostomed to restfulness, idleness, pleasure, and relaxation that they don’t know how to downregulate into easefulness.
So how do we create real, effective postpartum rest?!
Make a Plan - especially for my type A’s out there, this one is for you. Make a plan. And stick to it. Share it with your team (midwives, doula, partner, friends, family, etc.)
The Rule of 5’s - First 5 days stay in the bed. Next 5 days stay on the bed. The next 5 days stay around the bed. Avoiding the stairs as much as possible during this time. Enjoy these 15 days (or more, which would be even better!) of rest.
Create Your Sanctuary - make your postpartum space effective and nourishing for you. Where will baby’s items be stored so that they are within reach? Do you have readily available and nourishing snacks? Maybe make sure you have a water pitcher and space for multiple beverages nearby. Ensure that you have the ability to truly stay in bed for as many days as possible.
Enact the 7 Sisters Protocol - The Seven Sisters protocol is really beautiful. It is asking 7 friends or family members to each choose a day in which they will check up on you. Whether it is in person or via phone. It might be just a check in, it might be to bring food, it might be to help with chores, to go on a walk (after the first few weeks!), or to talk and be in each other’s company - sometimes this is the most effective medicine for what we need in the postpartum time.
Teach Your Nervous System how to Relax - during pregnancy find practices that support your nervous system. Practice meditation, mindfulness, yoga, or somatics. Explore the courses I have to offer and see what feels like the thing you need right now, and give that to yourself. The ability to rest is often not easily done. Find ways to support your body and nervous system.